“You’re a Christian? Then You Clearly Have Terrible Judgment.”

What I wish I’d said next—and what you still can.

“Well, you’re a Christian, so that proves you don’t have very good judgment. Why should I listen to you?”

The conversation with a young man, which was NOT related to faith, suddenly turned disrespectful and dismissive. And frankly, it caught me off guard. I didn’t challenge him. I didn’t ask him what he meant. I just raised my eyebrows and continued the conversation as if nothing had happened.

Later, I realized something: I didn’t miss the chance to preach—I missed the chance to ask.
Had I simply said, “What do you mean by that?” or “Why did you say that?” the conversation might’ve opened up. Or at the very least, I would’ve shown I was willing to engage, not retreat.

Should I Say Something Right Now?

We’ve all felt that inner tension—
A mix of fear and urgency.
You want to say something about Jesus… but you’re not sure if it’s the right time. Or the right person. Or the right way.

Let’s start with the truth:
Not every moment is the right moment to talk about Jesus.
But—most moments are a great time to ask a question.

And those questions? They’re often the best way to discover whether someone is open or closed, curious or cynical, cold or seeking. That brings us to a simple tool we teach in the Sharing Encounter—one that helps you figure out how to respond with love, truth, and confidence.

The Cold/Warm/Hot Spiritual Thermometer

You don’t need a theology degree or a polished presentation. You just need eyes to see where someone is, spiritually.

We use this simple model:

Cold: The person is closed, resistant, maybe even hostile to faith.
They don’t want to hear about Jesus—and you’ll make things worse if you force it.
Your job? Be present. Love them. Pray.
Warm: They’re open to a conversation. They’re curious, even if they’re skeptical.
Your job? Ask questions. Share your story. Be real.
Hot: They’re spiritually ready. They’re seeking.
They may even ask questions like, “How do you believe that?” or “What changed your life?”
Your job? Share the Gospel. Invite. Don’t hold back.

But how do you know which temperature you’re dealing with?

The Two Questions That Can Open the Door

Here’s a little secret: when in doubt—ask.

If someone says something surprising, dismissive, or even vaguely spiritual, try:

“What do you mean by that?”
“Why did you say that?”

But don’t reserve those questions just for dramatic moments.
They’re good questions in any conversation.

Even when something seems unrelated to faith, asking for clarification can:

Reveal something deeper you didn’t expect.
Buy you time to pray and think before you speak.
Show you’re a good listener—and people return to good listeners when they’re ready to talk.

These questions don’t pressure or preach. They open. They invite.
And they just might turn a casual conversation into holy ground.

Not Speaking Isn’t Always a Failure

That moment with the young man? It wasn’t a total failure.
But it was a missed opportunity.

Not every conversation is a win. But we can’t let fear become our pattern.
If you always walk away without asking, or always assume someone isn’t interested, you’ll miss the ones who are. You’ll miss the “warm” hearts who just needed one more nudge. Or the “hot” ones who were waiting for someone—anyone—to speak the name of Jesus.

What About You?

Next time you’re not sure what to do, pause.
Pray.
And try asking:
“What do you mean by that?”
“Why did you say that?”

See where it leads.

And if you want to go deeper—if you want tools to share your faith without fear, and to recognize the right moment when it comes—check out Encounter 3: Sharing the Good News.

You don’t have to do this alone.
You just have to be willing to ask—and to listen.